Story Telling & Meal Sharing

These four words seem to nearly summarize all of my ministry as of late. It seems that love and truth and grace are so easily expressed through the sharing of stories and meals, through the sharing of life.

Tuesday nights are when my team gathers after dinner to discuss various books that we read throughout the course of Mission Year. While the questions and discussions are focused around specific sections of books, much of the discussion is usually about general topics that anyone could have something to say about. Last Tuesday one of our dear neighbors and friends texted one of my teammates and asked what we were making for dinner. We told her, and we invited her to come over for dinner and to stick around for our curriculum discussion. We have had some really great conversations with this particular neighbor before, and she is very intelligent and seeks to grow and learn in ways that are unique from many of her peers. So she came over and hung out with us for several hours, as we all discussed a book she had not read. She listened pretty intently to the discussion that we all had, and she joined in from time to time. I remember specifically listening to this friend talk about how our society tends to perpetuate materialism and how that has negatively affected her family, particularly by her single mother feeling pressured to provide joy and contentment for her children by providing material things to them. The evening felt fruitful and significant, and our neighbor said she wished she had more friends who would sit around and talk about things that matter.

Last night, another Tuesday evening for curriculum discussion, another neighbor and dear friend of ours stopped by our house before dinner. She is a caretaker for one of our elderly neighbors, and she lives with her father and other male relatives, so she is always glad to spend time with some other young women! She came by just to say hi and to bring us banana chips, her favorite snack. We invited her to stay for dinner as well as our curriculum discussion, and she was glad to stay. We enjoyed a good meal with lively discussion, and then our friend hopped up and offered to help with dishes! In our Mission Year experience we strive and challenge one another to serve and offer hospitality graciously, but often we find that our neighbors outdo us! After dinner was all cleaned up, we sat down again around our dining room table and began a discussion of Howard Thurman's Jesus and the Disinherited. This was a discussion about fear, deception, the oppressed, and how the relationship of Jesus fits in and around all of that. Again, although our neighbor had not read the book we were discussing, she was actively engaged in our conversation about all of these topics that are relevant to each of us.

At the end of the night as our friend was hugging each of us and preparing to head home, she said to us, "I really like you guys. No. I actually love you guys. Y'all are more than just neighbors or acquaintances. Y'all are my friends."

Over the past few weeks of being back in Houston, I have come to see our home and our table as a place for stories to be shared, meals to be enjoyed, and friendships to come alive. It is increasingly becoming a place of honesty and loyalty, of openness and grace. Around that table and within our home we are seeking the face of Jesus, and in doing so we are seeking to love one another better than ever. It is exciting to see this pouring out into our neighbors and the way they are opening up and sharing bits of their hearts with us as well.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."                                                                               -Matthew 6:19-21

Pray Continually

It's been a while since I've posted anything on here, and there is far too much for me to say to possibly catch up on everything that has happened over the past two months. So I'll just cut to the chase and talk about what's happening today and what's been on my mind this week.

Prayer.

One of the board members of The Forge came in to talk to the staff about the significance and power of prayer for two weeks in a row. These meetings reminded me of the simple truth that I have been aware of for the past several years, although it is a truth I too often forget: prayer matters, and prayer works.

So often I get caught up in the busyness of day to day life and I fool myself into thinking that I don't have time for true prayer. I fool myself into thinking that I need to sit down and commit big chunks of time to communing with God in order to pray at all. How am I able to forget so often what 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says? In fact, there is so much truth in the entire chapter of 1 Thessalonians 5 that I will share most of it here:

But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Do not put out the Spirit's fire. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject whatever is harmful.

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.                                                       [1 Thessalonians 5:8-24]

So with this on my heart and mind recently, I have been working toward praying continually. How sweet it is to be in communion with God, and why would I not desire to experience this constantly?

Please join with me in this journey of praying with greater frequency and with greater fervor and boldness. I am praying for growth in my faith, and so I am praying for bigger and bolder things, and I am working on trusting God fully to answer these prayers when they are prayed in accordance with His will.

Join with me in praying for those who do not have the voice or the will to pray for themselves.

Experiencing the Kingdom of God

My worksite, The Forge for Families, has recently begun trying to get the staff to go out into the community on a regular basis to truly live out Jesus' command to love our neighbors as ourselves. We've been going out in small groups of people to local schools, neighborhoods, businesses, and apartment complexes to try to meet the needs of people who are literally right next door to us. We've only started this effort over the past three weeks, so we are still in the early stages and things are a bit uncomfortable and unorganized at times.

Well, yesterday my roommate Jaimie went out with our coworker, Glenn, to hand out some flyers about The Forge's fall festival this weekend. She came back and told me about this elderly woman they met who invited them into her apartment and asked them to pray for her. Jaimie and Glenn decided to go back to visit this woman today and to bring her a warm meal. They invited me to come along with them.

I just returned from visiting Ms. Justina. She lives in a small apartment with her 14-year-old nephew. She has several medical issues and just went to the hospital last night because her nose was bleeding so much and she was scared about how much blood she was losing. We found out that most of her furniture used to be in storage, but it was in storage too long and it was eventually gotten rid of. Now her apartment is barren, and she only has one hard mattress for herself to sleep on, but no place for her nephew to sleep. They also are in need of other furniture items, such as dressers or chairs or a couch. Her phone was recently cut off because she couldn't pay the bill. Fortunately, she has a niece who takes care of her each day, but she is unsatisfied with her care and would really like someone else to help her out. Her kitchen was also painfully bare, and she tends to eat frozen meals whenever her niece will warm one up for her.

Today we brought her some hamburgers and salad for her to eat today and tomorrow. We sat and talked with her for nearly an hour, and we spent some time really trying to figure out practical ways we could help meet some of her immediate needs. She was so grateful to have us come into her life, and she kept saying that she knew God brought us to her. She has such a beautiful faith in Jesus, even in her present state. She asked us to pray for her again today before we left, and Jaimie, Justina, and I held hands and prayed together for her needs. I couldn't help but cry as we sat there and prayed together, as I witnessed this most beautiful picture of the Kingdom of God coming here, to the Third Ward of Houston, Texas. As we were gathered in this small, barren apartment, I felt so hopeful and certain of the love and goodness of God.

As Jaimie and I left and walked back to work (just a couple blocks), I turned to her, still with tears in my eyes, and said, "This is the Kingdom of God."

This is why I'm here this year. To serve and love and be transformed by people like Ms. Justina, and to bring the love of God to people who are so desperately in need.

My team and I are still doing fundraising to continue our work here. Please consider giving to this cause. We are each trying to raise $2000 more by Thanksgiving, two weeks from today, and every little bit helps.

www.missionyear.org/donate

Bed Bug Annihilation Day

As some of you may know by now, my lovely home on Winton Street has been infested with bed bugs over the past couple months. We are not sure where they came from or how long we have had them, but we've been aware of them for the past few weeks at least. After a few attempts at using bed bug bombs and evacuating our house for a few hours, we decided to tackle the problem more intensely. Our lovely city directors, Jason and Jenni checked around to see how much an exterminator would cost, and found out it could be around $1100 for one visit. They were willing to take on this cost, but after doing some research my team decided we wanted to try to take as many steps as possible to tackle the problem ourselves at a much lower cost.

This past Saturday we experienced
Bed Bug Annihilation Day (BBAD). From 9:00 am til around midnight, all seven of us worked to declutter, clean, and spread about bed bug killing chemicals. We began early by decluttering every bedroom and beginning what would be several days of laundry (literally all of the laundry for all seven girls). We put everything into trash bags to prevent any hidden bugs from spreading. As we removed pictures and artwork from our bedroom walls, several pesky bed bugs were discovered in creative hiding places. Once everything was bagged up from our bedrooms, we wiped down all of the walls and baseboards with soapy water. We also intensely vacuumed all of our carpets, including every crevice around the edge of the carpets. We then created a recommended solution of alcohol, water, and dish soap (we called it Kool-Aid), and sprayed that over all the walls and in every corner and crevice (don't worry, we used masks and gloves!). We also used our new hand steamer to steam clean everyone's mattress. Then we sprayed the mattresses down with our Kool-Aid concoction, followed by the recommended bed bug killing dust. We had various names for this. We then wrestled every mattress into its own (hopefully) bed bug proof mattress cover. After this, we had to rearrange some  furniture so we could deep clean all of our carpets. By the time all of this was done (and I feel like I'm forgetting some crucial details such as keeping a death toll tally on the bathroom mirror, yelling with rage at any bed bugs we discovered hiding on our walls, sending out mass texts asking for prayer against the bed bugs, listening to calming meditation music, receiving a stuffed bed bug in a package from my mom, and eating ice cream floats at 10:30 pm as a reward), it was around midnight. We spent around $250 on all of the supplies and products we needed for the day, which is an incredible saving when compared to what we would have spent on an exterminator. But after 15+ hours of BBAD, we were all completely exhausted and a little bit tense. In addition to that, we are now on our third day of doing laundry. We are fortunate to have a washer and dryer in our house that we can use right now. We also cannot know for sure if the bed bugs have truly been annihilated for several weeks or even months. All we can do is wait and hope that we did everything we could.

I'm not writing all of this to gain sympathy or shock or even financial support. I personally want to remember BBAD beyond this year (okay, I think it would be hard to forget), and I want to remember some things that I learned from the experience, and I want to share these things with you all.

There is something about going through trials with people that truly brings everyone closer together. I think BBAD was a really great bonding experience for the Winton Street team. For one full day we had really great motivation to work together and push through our struggles and weaknesses to accomplish a common goal. We were all tired and frustrated and anxious, but we could help to support one another in the experience. Several girls said throughout the day, "This is truly the best way to experience bed bugs. Can you imagine dealing with this anywhere else with anyone else?" That really stands out to me. Nothing about that day should have been fun or enjoyable, but because we were all working together as a family, we could make the most of the situation and help each other through. 

This is yet another example of how life here requires me to rely fully on God in all circumstances. I am continuing to embrace the reality that my contentment and joy cannot come from anywhere besides the Holy Spirit. It doesn't make sense for me to have joy in the circumstances I find myself in. It doesn't make sense to feel content and satisfied in this lifestyle that I'm living this year. There are a lot of really challenging things happening on a regular basis. But the truth is, I really wouldn't trade any of that for anything. I think the challenges make everything so worthwhile. I am really learning how to find and treasure the good in every situation, and this is something that will carry me through the rest of my life. I am learning to be content with very little, and I am discovering what my true needs are. As people, and maybe especially as Americans, we are so good at living with excess. We prioritize so many things that are simply unnecessary to daily life and contentment.

I pray that these words would cause you to stop and think about all of the many things you have to be thankful for. Think about ways you can simplify your life to better see the good in all circumstances. Where do you find your joy?

Peace & love,

Cara

Community

Today I am grateful for the power of friendship and authentic community.

My roommate's (Abigail) birthday is Monday, and we decided that today's Sabbath would be a good time to celebrate. Carole, Abigail and I spent a big chunk of our day exploring several new things around Houston. We took advantage of a beautiful November day (seriously, it was in the 80's today) and trekked out to the Houston Arboretum. This is the most nature-y place I've experienced over the past two months! We were actually secluded and far enough from the city to not be able to see any buildings. We could still hear the faint sound of cars on the highway, but we were excited enough to be surrounded by trees, flowers, and butterflies that we didn't care about the highway noise. It was beautiful. We ended up running into another team member, and we all sat by a pond and ate our lunches and watched the fish and turtles, talking about life and our experiences in Mission Year so far. It was a beautiful, well-spent afternoon. From there, Carole and I surprised Abigail by taking her to the local SPCA so we could spend some time visiting animals (namely cats, which Abigail really loves). We had such a great time looking at each cat and dog and playing with two cats and one dog.

Now we're back at McDonald's, the closest place to our house with free wifi. Fridays are good. This day was good for resting and doing new things. It's nice when both can happen. So many of my Fridays have been spent in the same coffee shop (it's a favorite for a reason, but it feels a little boring after so many weeks in a row). It is exciting and encouraging to have good friends here that I can enjoy Sabbaths with. It is good to have friends whom I can talk to about anything and everything, and to grow and share life with.

Abundant Joy

This week I've been thinking so much about how circumstances and basic human needs so greatly affect a person's life. As I've been dealing with so many physical and environmental challenges over the past two months, I've begun to realize how important physical well-being is to a person's general demeanor and specifically to their effectiveness in ministry. People who do ministry from the comfort of wealth have a totally different understanding and approach. That's not to say they won't be effective, but I think it may require more effort and different strategies. I remember that some people accused me of choosing to do Mission Year because it would be easier than going to graduate school or getting a job. I hope that if I had conversations with those same people now they would have a change of heart and mind. This life that I'm choosing to live this year is incredibly difficult. I would argue that it is more difficult than getting and maintaining a job, because I am adopting an entirely different lifestyle this year. I don't get to go home at the end of a hard day or a challenging week. Because to go home here is to continue in the hardness. I live and breathe these challenges 24/7. At the beginning of this experience it was easy for me to resent these challenges and their inescapable nature. It was frustrating and I hated feeling trapped in this. But as time has passed, I've developed more of an appreciation for this experience and the ways I can learn and grow here. These things are unique and beautiful. The fact that I can have deep, immense joy in the midst of my struggles here is to me a clear picture of God's promises and faithfulness to me and all of humanity. I feel blessings pour out to cover all of my struggles. It makes it all worthwhile. This is not something that would probably not make logical sense to anyone who is on the outside looking in. Yet I feel it, and I have abundant hope. I have confidence that I would rather be here serving than anywhere else right now. I would rather be in this place of physical discomfort while loving and serving with an eternal perspective than living in comfort while loving with an agenda that struggles to see beyond my own nearsightedness.

I am grateful to be here, and especially grateful for the joy I have in being here. God is clearly at work in me, because I'm not capable of sustaining this kind of joy and contentment on my own, especially in these circumstances. Praise be to God, the Rock on which I stand.

I am being changed

This post is going to consist of a lot of recent thoughts. I hope they come together in some sort of organized fashion. Bear with me.

I wrote this in my journal last Wednesday, October 3rd:

Last night I was hit with so many thoughts and feelings, and I had a hard time falling asleep because my mind was racing. I think I was able to do a lot of processing about Mission Year so far and my feelings about the months to come. I think I realized part of why this is all so overwhelming. On the one hand, coming here asks us to sort of step outside of, apart from, and beyond ourselves to truly and selflessly love and serve. This is obviously an incredibly challenging task, considering how self-driven we as humans naturally are. But on the other hand, or maybe as a result of this stepping out of oneself, we are suddenly forced to stare down every harsh reality of ourselves. I am getting to know myself really well, and in a lot of ways I didn't want to face. I can no longer lie to myself about how I feel about people and circumstances. I suddenly have to be completely real in every way. This is a really intense combination of factors, and it has all happened so quickly.

Today I shared a lot of thoughts with a few of my roommates and friends from home. This experience is opening my eyes to so many realities in the world. Right now I'm not really sure how to explain all of these things in pretty words. Things seem to be fairly straightforward right now.

There is a huge divide between rich and poor. I see it more clearly here than I have anywhere else, but I realize it exists everywhere. I see this when I live, work, and worship in the Greater Third Ward and then step outside of that at any point and see extreme wealth and general oblivion to the pain of poverty. I see contempt and judgment on both sides. The poor can't understand the rich, and the rich can't understand the poor. It's interesting to be placed in a position of middle ground in a sense. Not that I am extremely wealthy, but I am realizing that I am growing both perspectives this year. This puts me in a really interesting position for the future. I am excited to continue learning in this throughout the year.

I also realized today that I am shedding a lot of judgment and criticism that I have held toward people different than myself. Many of us grow up in places where people and cultures are all very similar. We are exposed to differences occasionally, and we soak up new and exotic things when they are safe (for example, from the comfort of a movie theater or a neat vacation). How often, though, are we exposed to new things that are uncomfortable or a little bit unsafe? This may happen more for some than others, but I know that growing up in a comfortable suburb and going to a small, comfortable university prevented me from seeing others who are different than me with open eyes. Coming here, I am forced into these realities. I am able to see more clearly both the brokenness and the beauty in differences and diversity. I was unaware of how many judgments, assumptions, and criticisms I held toward those differences until I was made to face them every day. It is uncomfortable to confront those realities in my own heart and mind, but it is refreshing and renewing to feel God stripping me of those things and conforming my heart more to His. I am more able to realize the truth that He created all people in His image. I am more able to love as He does. I am more aware of my own neediness and brokenness, and therefore I am more able to pour His love out on others. It is beautiful, this growing process.

Thank you to those of you who read this, pray, and/or support me financially. Your support is so encouraging and helpful to me. I have much hope because of how much love I feel from friends and family all over the world. Please continue praying for my team and me. You can never pray too much. Pray for safety of body and mind. Pray for continued growth in my teammates and myself individually as well as as teammates. Pray for joy and energy as we push forward in the work we are doing. It is draining in every way, but so worthwhile.

If you would like to continue supporting me financially, that would also be much appreciated! I am amazed at the Lord's provision already in this endeavor. As of today, I have raised $5,662; I am almost halfway there! Our goal for our team by Thanksgiving is to be at an average of $7,000 per person. I am getting close, but support of our entire team is really important right now!

Click here to donate online; just designate my name!

Peace and love,
Cara